Success

I have always struggled to really feel successful, especially when I look around at what American culture deems successful. Money, power, possessions, and "coolness" are successes that just don't resonate with my soul, and even when attained don't feel like real success to me. They just feel empty and pointless. I have written about my struggle with defining success before in an essay that was published on The Art of Simple blog a couple of years ago, and it's something I've been pondering again recently, as I start to gather the necessary information to prepare my taxes and see numbers upon numbers that declare my "worth" but that feel completely meaningless. 

I imagine I don't much look like a picture of success to those peeping in from the outside, especially in the affluent part of the world I live in. I live in an older, smallish house with nothing in the way of fanciness. I drive a car with 108,000 miles on it and a huge gash down one side. I'm a barista at Starbucks and will never get rich doing that, even with the recent raise I received. But interestingly, it is in this line of work that I have begun to understand different, more meaningful (to me) definitions of success and where I have finally felt the greatest success of my life. 

Early on, when every part of the job still felt a bit overwhelming and I wondered if I would ever really get it, a manager said to me at the end of a shift, " I can really tell that you are improving. Be patient with yourself; everything will click before too long." For much of my life, "perfection" felt like the definition of success, but this word "improvement" resonated deeply with me and felt like actual success. "Improvement" is a level of success I can handle. "Perfection" is just ridiculous. Another time at work, a co-worker said, "I love working with you, Mandi, because you are always so proactive." Seeing what needs to be done and doing it, anticipating the needs of those around me and helping reduce the frustration an unmet need could cause: This feels like success. I don't get paid extra to be proactive, and I have plenty of co-workers that are not and get paid the same as me, but being "proactive" matters, at least to me, and feels like a true contribution to the team. Another time, a manager said, "I appreciate you because no matter which role I ask you to fill, I know you will do a good job and that you will do the job without complaining," which triggered that same feeling of success within me. On several occasions I have had co-workers say how much they enjoy working with me because I'm always so kind and encouraging. More feelings of success. And, recently, I had a customer come through the drive-thru and tell me at the window that I was "absolutely the most pleasant person" and that she could "feel [my] positive energy radiating through the speaker." After work, I relayed this moment a friend, ending the story with, "this is what success feels like to me because it's truly the kind of person I aspire to be." And, it's true. Being a person of character, who makes my little piece of the world a better place, even in a job that will never be considered "important" by the American success gurus, is what matters most to me. I'm glad I'm finally at the point in my life where I can stop shaming myself for not being "successful" as the world sees success and truly appreciate and celebrate those things that my heart recognizes as successful. 

Creating Best Moments

Around the beginning of July, I became a barista for Starbucks--a company that states in it's training materials that one of its main objectives is to "create best moments" in people's days. This philosophy intrigued me and instantly aligned with what feels like part of my own life's purpose. A person can be having a rough day or mundane day or even a pretty good day, but a kind word and a smile and having a barista recognize you at "your" Starbucks can make any day better. 

This overarching philosophy trickles down to employees and customers alike. I have seen a dozen cars in a row pay for the order of the vehicle behind them, and it is amazing and wonderful every time--for the giver, for the recipient, and for the barista processing the orders. But the love isn't just from barista to customer or customer to customer. The particular crew of people I work with most often are some of the most encouraging and positive people I have ever been around, and they are the very best kind of cheerleaders. There is a pretty steep learning curve when you become a barista, but in my store, there is a constant stream of praise and encouragement and teaching, so you never truly feel discouraged or like a failure, even if you mess up a drink (again!) or spill peach juice everywhere or can't find the right button to push on the order screen. The other baristas and managers will simply step in and assist, gently teaching you so you can do better next time. And they will usually leave you with a "Don't worry; you're doing great!" You will often hear the baristas speaking to each other this way: "You were such a rockstar on bar today!" "You did an amazing job in the drive-thru!" "Thank you so much for taking out the trash/restocking the cups/cleaning the floors!" There are even sticky notes stuck to highly visible surfaces that say, "You are loved!" "You are beautiful!" "You are Valued!" "You are strong!" As a person whose main love language is Words of Affirmation, I find this to be such a motivating and inspiring place to work, and I truly look forward to going to work every single day. 

I am trying to take what I have learned at work and apply it to other parts of my life. When I've seen my 4th grader struggling with homework lately, I've taken to saying things like, "Wow! You did an amazing job getting all your work done!" "You drew that life cycle of the grasshopper like a rockstar!" "Thank you for sitting down to work on this even though you were tired from a long day at school." I can tell you it changes his energy and engagement levels and makes the entire dreadful homework process better for both of us. I am also trying to remember to talk to myself this way. Because the words we speak--out loud and inside our minds--make a difference. 

Working at Starbucks has made me more cognizant of the words I use--with customers, with co-workers, with random strangers, with my friends, with my kids, and with myself. Words matter. And they can absolutely make a difference in whether a person has a bad, average, or best moment during the day. I want to be a creator of best moments for people. I want my interactions with people to leave them feeling happier and lighter than they were before, and maybe even inspire them to create best moments for others.