Great, Glorious Pieces of Good

A friend recently posted a quote from Dolly Parton that I love and cannot stop thinking about: "I make a point to appreciate all the little things in my life. I go out and smell the air after a good, hard rain. I re-read passages from my favorite books. I hold the little treasures that somebody special gave me. These small actions help remind me that there are so many great, glorious pieces of good in the world." Dolly grew up poor and ended up rich, but as far as I can tell, she embraced this philosophy of appreciating the little things throughout her life. It's the last bit that particularly sticks with me. There are truly so many "great, glorious pieces of good in the world," and even though I keep a daily gratitude journal that covers many of those things, I feel as if I have a tendency to focus on the negative sometimes, and I want to be intentional about breaking out of that mindset. So today, I'm sharing some of the amazing little things I've had the privilege of experiencing this week. 

Great, Glorious Pieces of Good:

• Seeing the full moon, both at night and in the morning
• Viewing gorgeous sunrises while taking my kids to school
• Watching a silly puppy play with a too-big stick
• Getting a much needed haircut
• Playing board games with my youngest
• Spending time with lovely girlfriends
• Dancing with my oldest son in the living room
• Snuggling with my youngest son during a family movie night
• Celebrating a personal victory for my oldest son
• Participating in a special family tradition
• Making and eating yummy food
• Soaking up the sunshine and lovely weather with a couple of nice walks
• Finding a 90% off sale at one of my favorite consignment stores
• Receiving several sincere compliments
• Watering my houseplants
• Having meaningful conversations
• Listening to great music and sometimes singing along

Do Good Anyway

They say, "No good deed goes unpunished," and I have definitely seen that play out in my life recently. On three separate occasions, I have been verbally attacked or berated for trying to do something I had intended to be kind and/or helpful. Each time, my feelings were deeply hurt, and I experienced a brief moment of wanting to throw up my hands and abandon the whole notion of showing up as a force of good in the world. But, honestly, I can't help myself. My nature is one of kindness and helpfulness, and that is really and truly how I desire to show up in the world, even if it isn't appreciated or reciprocated. I don't want to be mean or nasty or uncaring because I don't like myself when I'm that way. And my goal is to like myself even if no one else likes me. 

I'm no Mother Teresa, but after the most recent incident of my kindness being repaid with hostility, I started thinking about something she beautifully said which embodied the philosophy she lived and reflects a life philosophy I believe I could get behind as well: "People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway." 

People will be rude, unkind, unappreciative, defensive, and hostile, but this has nothing to do with me. And it is me I have to live with until I die. It is me I have to face in the mirror at the end of the day. It is me I have to put to bed with a clear conscience every night. I always have a choice about the kind of person I want to be. For me, it is necessary to show up with kindness and goodness because being any other way doesn't change other people, it only robs me of my peace of mind. And I've learned that I must protect my peace of mind at all costs, so I will "do good anyway." 

An Opportunity to Practice Smile Meditation

In an act of sheer brilliance and inspiration, I chose my words for 2022--JOY and HAPPINESS--and announced them joyously and happily to the world. Then, I immediately turned around and ran head first into a thick and unyielding wall of anxiety that knocked me down a deep, dark hole of depression that I haven't yet completely found my way out of. 

I know that doesn't seem much like the stuff of hope, beauty, and magic, but I'm just really trying to keep it real here. And, even though I'm generally on a path of chasing rainbows, that doesn't mean I'm always finding them. To find rainbows, we all have to walk through storm clouds, and that's where I am right now. No point in pretending otherwise. I am working on trying to climb out of the pit, but it's a slow process, as you know well if you've ever been there, and it takes a tremendous amount of energy, which depression is very good at zapping.

One low-energy technique I'm trying to employ is smile meditation, which I recently read about and am very much intrigued by. (I have been aware of the concept for a while but only became familiar with this term for it in my recent reading.) All you do is sit and smile. Seems simple in theory. Feels difficult in practice. There is actually a ton of brain research on this idea that proves that smiling--even if it's fake--for at least 10 seconds, can literally switch up the signals in the brain and create happier feelings in a person, even if nothing else changes. I think I can probably find the energy to sit and smile for 10-30 seconds a couple of times a day, even on my worst days, so I'm giving it a shot. And, now that I think about it, the fact that I'm even trying to do something to change and to improve is exactly the stuff of hope, beauty, and magic, so I feel sure I'll eventually find the rainbows I'm looking for.