The Good and Necessary Crisis

I'm looking for volunteers to sign up for an event they can't predict, that they might not be able to prepare for, that will hurt either a little or a lot, and that will almost certainly rock their world. Specifically, I'm looking for someone to be the FIRST to sign up. "What's the event?" you ask. The answer is: a crisis. Need more info? Well, here's the definition: a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger. Who's in? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? 

Of course, none of us wants a crisis to befall our lives. And especially at this point in 2020, we feel like we've had more than enough time of "intense difficulty, trouble, and danger" to last a lifetime. So let's put a different event on our volunteer sign-up sheet. One that will almost certainly make the participants feel strong, brave, grateful, content, and satisfied. Wait, do I already see some hands going up for volunteers before the event--personal growth--has even been announced?

The thing is, before we can get to that beautiful place of personal growth with all it's lovely attributes and benefits, we almost always have to go through some sort of crisis. To be sure, it feels like there is one happening every day--in our world, in our countries, in our states, in our cities, in our neighborhoods, in our homes, and in our minds. Some crises are sort of universally recognized as such: natural disasters, loss of a job, major illnesses and diseases, the death of a loved one, to name a few. They're big and catastrophic and in your face. But many crises are very personal and would be completely unrecognizable as such to anyone but the person experiencing them. That doesn't mean they aren't as intense. And I think it's important that we try extra hard to show grace to the people around us because we usually never know what crisis someone is facing. We don't normally get to choose the crisis we endure, so we're left to endure the ones that are foisted upon us by Fate. But for the one enduring it, a crisis is a crisis and it isn't comparable to someone else's. Crises are hard by definition, and there is often a feeling that they won't/can't be survived. And sometimes they can't be. But in most cases, they can and will be survived as we fortify our minds, put one foot in front of the other, and just do the next thing that needs doing. The key, I think, is to lean in to the crisis and open our eyes to see what it may be teaching us. We may not know the answer to that for quite some time, but in retrospect, we can often pinpoint the crisis as the event that led to the growth. It wasn't the thing we wanted, but it was the thing we needed to push us to be our next-level selves. Susan L. Taylor says it so well: "In every crisis there is a message. Crises are nature's way of forcing change--breaking down old structures, shaking loose negative habits so that something new and better can take their place." 

I doubt anyone reading this is now eager to be the first to sign up for a crisis, but I hope we can all see that the old adage is true: "That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." Whatever crisis you're facing today--and I know you're facing at least one--probably feels terrible right now. You may be wondering if you'll survive. There is a very good chance you will, so I hope you will be encouraged by these words. This crisis has a message for you. Something new and better is coming.

Creating Best Moments

Around the beginning of July, I became a barista for Starbucks--a company that states in it's training materials that one of its main objectives is to "create best moments" in people's days. This philosophy intrigued me and instantly aligned with what feels like part of my own life's purpose. A person can be having a rough day or mundane day or even a pretty good day, but a kind word and a smile and having a barista recognize you at "your" Starbucks can make any day better. 

This overarching philosophy trickles down to employees and customers alike. I have seen a dozen cars in a row pay for the order of the vehicle behind them, and it is amazing and wonderful every time--for the giver, for the recipient, and for the barista processing the orders. But the love isn't just from barista to customer or customer to customer. The particular crew of people I work with most often are some of the most encouraging and positive people I have ever been around, and they are the very best kind of cheerleaders. There is a pretty steep learning curve when you become a barista, but in my store, there is a constant stream of praise and encouragement and teaching, so you never truly feel discouraged or like a failure, even if you mess up a drink (again!) or spill peach juice everywhere or can't find the right button to push on the order screen. The other baristas and managers will simply step in and assist, gently teaching you so you can do better next time. And they will usually leave you with a "Don't worry; you're doing great!" You will often hear the baristas speaking to each other this way: "You were such a rockstar on bar today!" "You did an amazing job in the drive-thru!" "Thank you so much for taking out the trash/restocking the cups/cleaning the floors!" There are even sticky notes stuck to highly visible surfaces that say, "You are loved!" "You are beautiful!" "You are Valued!" "You are strong!" As a person whose main love language is Words of Affirmation, I find this to be such a motivating and inspiring place to work, and I truly look forward to going to work every single day. 

I am trying to take what I have learned at work and apply it to other parts of my life. When I've seen my 4th grader struggling with homework lately, I've taken to saying things like, "Wow! You did an amazing job getting all your work done!" "You drew that life cycle of the grasshopper like a rockstar!" "Thank you for sitting down to work on this even though you were tired from a long day at school." I can tell you it changes his energy and engagement levels and makes the entire dreadful homework process better for both of us. I am also trying to remember to talk to myself this way. Because the words we speak--out loud and inside our minds--make a difference. 

Working at Starbucks has made me more cognizant of the words I use--with customers, with co-workers, with random strangers, with my friends, with my kids, and with myself. Words matter. And they can absolutely make a difference in whether a person has a bad, average, or best moment during the day. I want to be a creator of best moments for people. I want my interactions with people to leave them feeling happier and lighter than they were before, and maybe even inspire them to create best moments for others.