The Most Serious Problem in the World

During the course of my Yoga Teacher Training, we were asked to write several essays on deeply thoughtful and fairly personal topics. The exercise was mostly to have us do some self examining so we could more clearly define what kind of people we want to be, and therefore, what kind of yoga teachers we want to be. One of the prompts asked us to consider what we, as individuals, considered to be the most serious problem in the world and how yoga might be able to help with it. After I had turned in the assignment and checked off that graduation requirement, I shared this essay with a few family members, who each asked to share it with others, feeling that my message might be an inspiration to certain people they knew. My sweet, supportive husband also encouraged me to share it with a wider audience, and so, here I am sharing it on the largest platform I currently have access to.

The Most Serious Problem in the World

    Upon first seeing the prompt for this essay, I felt overwhelmed. The world is seemingly full of problems, many of them serious, so I wondered how one would go about deciding which is the most serious. But after some reflection, I believe the most serious problem in the world is disconnection, and I believe this is the problem that essentially leads to all others. 

    First and foremost, individuals are disconnected from themselves. Most people don't take the time to truly know themselves, but instead, spend all their time pursuing distractions in every form possible. In this state of distraction, people disconnect from their minds, from their bodies, from their feelings, from their passions, from their morals, and from their purpose. Consequently, they go through the motions of living a life but miss true living. Most people even disengage from what they consume, both in terms of food and beverages and in terms of mind-shaping content. Feeling disconnected from yourself is a quick path to anxiety and depression, which leads to even more desire to disconnect from the self as a means of escape. It is a vicious cycle that starts subtly but has far-reaching and ever greater consequences. 

    The more disconnected people are from themselves, the more they distance themselves from others. When you don't really know or love yourself, it is difficult to know and love others. When you don't know your passions, it is hard to find others who share those passions. When you are disconnected from others, it is easy to dismiss and disrespect them. Even within families, there is a growing atmosphere of disconnection. Through physical distance, busyness, distractions, and sometimes necessary boundary setting, families are often completely disconnected from one another, even when they live under the same roof. Frequently, families don't share meals or conversation. And often each family member has their own device in hand that allows them to completely check out from what is going on around them. A similar thing happens in many friend groups and other communities, where the interactions are often shallow and devoid of any true meaning. And, obviously, we can feel an even greater sense of disconnection with strangers. Many false connections are created through social media and superficial in-person interactions, but at the end of the day, these can feel very empty and meaningless. In fact, in a world where we have more "social" outlets that ever before, we are facing the greatest loneliness epidemic of all time. People feel isolated and disconnected from others. They compare their very normal and mundane lives with heavily edited and curated lives they see online and feel they are lacking in any number of ways. They feel a growing sense of lost authenticity, both in themselves and in others. They feel unseen and devalued, as they also unsee and devalue others. A sense of community is lost and with it the knowing that "we are in this together." Instead, it seems like it's just "me against the world." Everyone seems too caught up in their own distractions to care much about the people around them. And when humans devalue other humans, the environment is ripe for a myriad of societal problems. 

    Furthermore, we are disconnected from nature and the natural cycles of growth and rest it has to offer us. We spend most of our time indoors with artificial heat and cooling, artificial light, artificial and out-of-season foods, and artificial images that keep nature abstract and at arm's length. Our circadian rhythms are shot, which affects our sleep, our hunger cues, and the general flow of life. As we stay indoors, we become increasingly sedentary, which affects our physical and mental health in big and small ways. And then we treat our symptoms with artificial medications that only mask diseases rather than curing them. Additionally, we limit our opportunities to notice, appreciate, and learn from the beauty of every season. We treat nature with contempt--getting angry if it rains when we have plans, killing insects and animals without a thought, and clearing life-giving vegetation in favor of consumerism. We are so out of touch with nature that we think of it as an enemy rather than the beautiful friend it is. 

Humans are built for connection, and when it is lacking, there is no end to the problems that will arise. Being disconnected from ourselves, other people, and nature subconsciously gives the impression that these things don't matter, which leads to commoditizing them and treating them with disrespect, in the best case, and utter disregard, in the worst case. Disregard for ourselves, other people, and nature then leads to some of the most serious issues in the world, including, but in no way limited to, physical and mental diseases, substance abuse, environmental issues, human trafficking, war, murder, racism, gun violence, domestic abuse, and so many others. And instead of stepping up and taking responsibility for causing these issues through our disconnection, we disconnect ourselves from all of it and just shake our heads and wonder how things got so bad. 

    I'm not sure if yoga could solve all these problems, but the very nature of yoga is connection. Stepping onto our mats asks us to connect deeply with ourselves and to pay attention to our bodies and our minds. It asks us to connect our mind to our body and our breath to our movement. When we begin to really see and know ourselves, we are more open to really seeing and knowing others. Many yoga classes are also taught in community, which demands we recognize the others on this journey sharing space with us. Communities create support and connection. They give us a sense that we are not alone in the struggle. They allow us to learn from others and to open ourselves to different ways of doing and being. Yoga also connects us with nature through the very names of many of the poses. But not only that, yoga teaches us that all living things are connected through the prana (energy) that flows through us all. When we become connected to ourselves, to others, and to nature, we begin to to find true peace. And when you think of it like that, perhaps it isn't so far-fetched to believe that yoga could actually solve all the world's problems after all. 

Craft

If you know me at all, you know I truly love my job (most days). One of the things I love is the mission and values this company espouses and how well they line up with my personal mission and values of putting people first and making meaningful connections. I also love that Starbucks invests heavily in the training and continuing growth of its employees. To that end, this month the company has been providing special training sessions for all levels of employees across all of its stores, the theme of which has been "craft." I have been both a trainer and a trainee in various sessions and have found the topics insightful not only for work, but also for life. 

Many dictionaries define "craft" as "skill," but Starbucks expands the definition to mesh skill, care, and beauty. To me, this is a more accurate definition. The idea is that true craft is not just a technical skill, like being able to make a decent latte. True craft must involve the heart. And when that happens, beauty is created. According to all training materials I've ever seen, the company believes "craft" has much less to do with the act of coffee making than the ability to connect with people. The heartbeat of what I do every day--both professionally and personally--is human connection. This is my craft. And I want to make sure I hone my craft by practicing bringing skill, care, and beauty to every interaction I have with others. Sometimes this is difficult, but craft is not really ever something you are born with; it is something you have to develop. It's something you become good at through practice. So, if I want to see my craft perfected, I must be willing to put in the effort. I will not always get it right, but I will not give up trying. 

The parts of the training I've been involved in this month have had a particular focus on leadership and coaching. In the class I attended this week, we were asked to think of and share examples from our personal lives of coaching as "craft." I immediately thought of something to share. The football coaches at my oldest son's school hosted a football camp for moms of players last weekend. The head coach was the first to speak to us when we arrived. This man has Parkinson's, which causes his speech to be delayed, but his message came out clear. He stepped up to the front of the room, slowly and deliberately proclaimed the fact of his disease, and then said this: "This does not in any way affect my ability to coach your kids, and it certainly does not affect my ability to love your kids." This is a person who understands his limitations and owns them but who does not let those limitations keep him from his craft. With skill, care, and beauty his craft is accomplished daily. He obviously loves the game of football, but his craft is not simply teaching kids how to play or win the game, though he has the skills to do that and that is the job he was hired to do. Because he truly cares, his craft is made beautiful in the lives he touches year after year and through a ripple effect on other lives. His craft is not really about football, just as my craft is not really about coffee. Like this coach who invests his whole heart into the kids in his football program, the aim of my life is this: to own my limitations, but to not be limited by them, bringing skill, care, and beauty to every interaction I have with every person, thus perfecting my craft, both on and off the clock. 

What's your craft?

Connection

My youngest son wants to be a blacksmith when he grows up. He told me a couple of weeks ago that he sure would like to go see a real blacksmith because he had some questions. Over the weekend, we decided to revisit the blacksmith shop that first inspired him, where they do public demonstrations and have some hands-on activities available. He was completely enraptured by the experience. And I learned some very important things from the blacksmith myself. 

First of all, he told us that blacksmiths work mostly by sight. They spend years learning to see when the metal is ready to be removed from the fire and when it is ready to be twisted or hammered or manipulated in some other way. The color of the metal tells them what they need to know, even when there are only small variations in hue. But looks, he said, can be deceiving to the untrained eye. He explained that eyes that don't know what to look for might observe that the metal has gone from glowing red to blackish gray and assume it is cool to the touch. Not true. Steel that looks cool may actually still be somewhere in the neighborhood of 1000 degrees. If a blacksmith wants to ensure the metal is cool, he will dunk it in a bucket of water, which will almost instantaneously take the heat out of it and solidify the work. When the blacksmith mentioned the high temperatures the metal was reaching (and staying at a while after it appeared "cool"), I questioned aloud why he was doing this work without gloves of any kind. He explained that steel is a pretty poor conductor of heat. So if he has a longish rod (maybe two feet or so), he can hold it in his hand and never really feel the heat of the end that had been submerged in the fire. But then he let us in on a little secret that felt truly profound. He said the main reason he didn't wear gloves while working was because he's a craftsman, and in order to make the metal do what he wants and become something useful or beautiful, he not only needs to visually observe it, he needs to be physically connected to it, to feel it. The more insulation he puts between his hand and the metal, the less accurate and precise his work and the more likely he would be to make mistakes. 

Connection has been on my mind a lot lately, and usually when something is rattling around in my head, the Universe shows up with all kinds of lessons on the topic in places I never really even expected to find them. Specifically, I've been pondering human connections. I've been wondering how to create them and how to strengthen them and how to keep them intact. I know connection is something I crave deeply, but it isn't always something I intuitively understand how to produce or maintain. And sometimes it's something I either actively avoid through a myriad of defense mechanisms or something I just don't invest the effort in, either intentionally or unintentionally. The blacksmith helped me understand connection a bit better, I think. 

First of all, I need to see--really see--the people I desire to make a connection with. And since connection isn't a one-way street, I need to feel seen--really seen--as well. I need to learn to recognize the subtle variations in what I see so I'll know whether a relationship is "too hot to handle" or whether it is has "cooled." I need to be able to read how malleable the relationship is and if it is in a place to become something beautiful or if it needs some tweaks. I can only get this kind of connection by investing time and energy and genuine attention. And I can only experience a true connection when the other person is willing to invest to an equal degree. Not only that: to have real connection, I must remove as many insulators as possible so I can truly be in touch with those around me. That means I will have to allow space for people to be vulnerable, and I will have to allow myself to be vulnerable as well. In-person, face-to-face connections will always be the most meaningful because they are by their nature the least insulated. They allow for the most contact as the art of the relationship unfolds. 

Interestingly, a few days before my visit to the blacksmith, I had looked up some Brené Brown quotes for inspiration. She is one of my favorite authors and one seriously wise woman, and on a day when I was feeling a little "blah," I thought she might have some words to help me rise above my limiting mindset. There were a few I added to my collection of quotes, but one really stood out: "To form meaningful connections with others, we must first connect with ourselves." And that little gem was swirling in my head as I exited the blacksmith shop pondering connection. 

I cannot create meaningful connections with other people until I learn to connect with myself. That means I have to stop insulating and distracting and disengaging from myself long enough and often enough to really get in touch with myself. I need to really see myself and understand myself so I can learn what the variations in my colorful emotions mean. There is always the potential to get burned, but the more I learn to trust the process, the easier it will become and the better craftsman I will be. There is a masterpiece inside me waiting to emerge, but I have to be deeply connected with myself so I know when to heat things up or cool things down or put in a twist or take a hammer to it. 

One of my great desires in life is to make meaningful connections with other human beings. In fact, I believe this is absolutely my main purpose in life. It is something I strive for in my home, in my job, in my social circles, and even in everyday activities like grocery shopping. Sometimes those connections come easily, but sometimes they are a struggle. I know now, after several years of learning and growth--and an important reminder in a blacksmith shop--that the first step to making those connections with others is to stop insulating myself from my own experience. I have to be really in touch with it, even when it seems like it might be a little dangerous or uncomfortable. Before I can connect outwardly, I must connect inwardly. That connection will help me create something beautiful of myself, which will help me fulfill my life purpose of making meaningful connections with others.