Good-bye 2025, Hello 2026

It is very hard to believe we have already come to the end of another year. This one was a wild one that brought an abundance of both beauty and pain. Mike had four business trips to Florida this year, and I got to tag along on two of them. The two of us also took two vacations to Mexico--one to Puerto Vallarta and one to Cabo San Lucas. I took several solo trips to New Braunfels to visit Liv and a solo trip to Cairo, Egypt to attend Clay's 8th grade graduation. And we took the entire family to Breckenridge, CO for our first blended family vacation. Mike also had solo business trips to New Orleans and Las Vegas, and another to Scottsdale in October that I got to go along on. Unfortunately, at the end of that trip, he found out his company was undergoing a restructuring and that his job was being terminated, so he has bravely been going through the process of trying to find a new job, which has provided lots of opportunities for growth and self-reflection. We are anticipating him finding just the right thing in the new year. 

Other big happenings included me leaving Starbucks after five and a half years and taking a temporary nanny job. I also took as many yoga classes as I could fit in my schedule, took a six-week long pottery class, and enrolled in yoga teacher training, which I will graduate from at the end of January. Mike renovated our master bedroom after a major water leak, completely overhauled our guest bedroom because it needed some updates, and made some repairs to our garage space after a different water leak. We also did a lot of work on my Flower Mound house after all the kids moved out of it in January and were able to get it sold in August. 

We are so proud of and thankful for our kids! Liv got engaged and finished her first year of OT school. Weston graduated from WGU after just one year and is currently working on getting his teaching certificate. Max went for the second year in a row on a mission trip to Belize and has started his senior year of high school. And Clay has started high school and is excited about his wrestling season. Kai has been working at a radio station and Door Dash. Reid got his private pilot's license and his instrument rating and took Mike and I for a night flight that was absolutely incredible. Aiden is heavily involved in a leadership organization at his school and is looking forward to the upcoming lacrosse season. And Quinn and his band had an amazing marching season and got 9th place at the state competition. 

My words for 2025 were Present and Contentment/Acceptance, and I have really tried to embrace being present with myself and with others and finding contentment and acceptance in the good seasons, the bad seasons, the waiting seasons, and all the other seasons. I have worked hard to see and be the good in the world. I have tried to be grateful for all the gifts this year has given, even when they have been wrapped in circumstances that I wouldn't have chosen. I have chosen to believe the best and to trust the story that is unfolding, even if it isn't how I would have written it. 

I'm excited for all the new year holds! Inspired by my yoga journey, my words for 2026 are Strength, Balance, and Flexibility. These apply to my physical world, but probably more importantly, to my mental state of being. I feel like beautiful things are coming in 2026--for me and for you! Wishing you love and light and peace and joy in the new year! 

It's Today!

When my youngest child was around three years old, he used to wander into my room in the pre-dawn hours and loudly and cheerfully make the same proclamation every morning in the most adorable little sing-songy voice: "It's today!" Even when the announcement was made at 4:00 in the morning, I would often find my sleep deprived self smiling at his enthusiasm for the new day (but still trying to encourage him to give sleep another chance).

As a person who struggles with anxiety, I find it lamentably easy to get caught up in the disappointments of yesterday and the fears of tomorrow. My mind will churn on these things unbidden for hours on end--creating more problems and fewer solutions as the thoughts continue to swirl. It is hard for me to stay focused on the present, and I frequently feel as if I have to fight for every moment of peace, which is actually exhausting. People who don't experience this kind of anxiety will often advise that I simply stop thinking about things that cause anxiety or suggest I just redirect my thoughts or that I make an effort to try to be positive--advice that makes perfect sense to their non-anxious brains. If you do experience true anxiety, you know it isn't that easy and that trying to stop those thoughts on demand can actually cause more anxiety. 

It is important to me to continue to pursue peace even when it's exhausting and even when it doesn't come naturally. I have a variety of tools at my disposal to help me not get sucked into the anxiety vortex and sometimes they work very well. Recently, I've been trying to combat anxiety by attempting to ground myself in the present, an effort that brought to mind the sweet toddler voice of my youngest child announcing the presence of a new day, saying, "It's today!" The memory makes me smile every time. For him, it was just pure enthusiasm and awe. For me, it is that, but it is also a catch phrase I'm using with myself to refocus my attention on the here and now. It's a reminder that this moment is the only one that matters and that I can set down the disappointments of the past and the fears of the future and simply be dazzled in whatever way possible by the magic of this present moment. And, I believe there absolutely is magic in this present moment, if I am willing to look for it. 

I am trying to teach myself that this day is everything and to experience only gratitude in the countless opportunities it holds for love and beauty and joy and growth. This day is magical and I don't want to miss it!

As a concrete reminder, I have taped an index card to my bathroom mirror with a mantra that reads: "It's today! Today is the very best day. It holds countless possibilities for joy and beauty and adventure and love and magic. It carries none of the disappointments of yesterday or fears of tomorrow. Today is my favorite, and I'm so very thankful to have the chance to live in it fully." 

Minds believe what we tell them, so I'm trying to be intentional with the words I use when speaking to and about myself. I want to be awed by this day. I want to be present in this moment. I will probably always struggle with anxiety, but I will not let it engulf me without a fight. My peace of mind is worth fighting for, so I will remind myself as many times as necessary to "be happy for this moment. This moment is your life." (Omar Khayyam)

It's today!

This moment is your life

When we are little kids, we can't wait to be big kids. When we are tweens, we can't wait to be teens. When we are 16, we want to be 18. And when we are 18, we want to be 21. We tell ourselves when we're thinner, we'll wear cute outfits; when we're wealthier, we'll be happier; when we retire, we'll do all the things we haven't done yet. When life settles down, we'll write that book or take that vacation or play that game with our kids or advocate for that cause that means something to us. We'll do it all later, when the conditions are just right. And THEN we'll be happy. We tend to believe that the next thing (whatever it may be) is the best thing and that our happiness is just around the corner. But here's what I've come to realize as I have sought to make this my year of happiness and joy: the future doesn't exist (and neither does the past, if you want to get really honest). This moment is the only one we have. So we have to choose happiness now. Happiness isn't out there somewhere waiting to be discovered. It can only ever exist right here, right now. And it can only be found within yourself--not in some external person, situation, object, or place. If you can't find it here, you won't find it there. And if it doesn't bubble up from within you, it is only an illusion. Sadly, we spend most of our time largely ignoring the joys of the present because we're so focused on this invisible, imaginary place called the future (or stuck in the equally unreal past). This moment is the only one that exists, which means I have to live fully in this moment, appreciating it for what it is, in order to find real happiness.