This moment is your life

When we are little kids, we can't wait to be big kids. When we are tweens, we can't wait to be teens. When we are 16, we want to be 18. And when we are 18, we want to be 21. We tell ourselves when we're thinner, we'll wear cute outfits; when we're wealthier, we'll be happier; when we retire, we'll do all the things we haven't done yet. When life settles down, we'll write that book or take that vacation or play that game with our kids or advocate for that cause that means something to us. We'll do it all later, when the conditions are just right. And THEN we'll be happy. We tend to believe that the next thing (whatever it may be) is the best thing and that our happiness is just around the corner. But here's what I've come to realize as I have sought to make this my year of happiness and joy: the future doesn't exist (and neither does the past, if you want to get really honest). This moment is the only one we have. So we have to choose happiness now. Happiness isn't out there somewhere waiting to be discovered. It can only ever exist right here, right now. And it can only be found within yourself--not in some external person, situation, object, or place. If you can't find it here, you won't find it there. And if it doesn't bubble up from within you, it is only an illusion. Sadly, we spend most of our time largely ignoring the joys of the present because we're so focused on this invisible, imaginary place called the future (or stuck in the equally unreal past). This moment is the only one that exists, which means I have to live fully in this moment, appreciating it for what it is, in order to find real happiness.  

Content in the messiness

I was having a text conversation with a friend this week about eating spicy foods. He was telling me about how much he was enjoying his spicy dinner, even though it was kind of setting him on fire and was making him sweat profusely. And then he said something so profound, I knew I was going to have to write about it. He said, "I'm a mess but very content!"

I am a long-time (but recovering!) perfectionist. I spent years trying to avoid physical and mental messy, dirty, ugly, hard, unseemly situations (but not really succeeding). I have worried about appearances and expended unfathomable energy trying to fight against messiness--all while being a complete hot mess on the inside. It was a messiness I couldn't outrun or hide from. It was a messiness I ultimately had to just face head-on and make peace with. And when I learned to be content in my messiness, I found that I started enjoying the messy life I've been given so much more. 

Life is messy. That is a fact. And no one escapes it. Each individual's mess may look a little different, but rest assured, we all have messy lives. The secret, I think is in my friend's message. We must find a way to embrace the mess that is inevitable and find contentment and even enjoyment there. Not that we shouldn't look for ways to eventually wash away the sweat and clean up some of the messes. But we also don't need to avoid or ignore the mess or wait for everything to be perfect before we start enjoying the experience. The mess may simply be a side effect of a life well-lived or a stepping stone to a source of true joy and happiness. I don't want to miss out on enjoying this amazing, spicy life because I'm afraid of being a mess.