Gratitude

Want to know the secret to a happy life? Live each moment of each day in gratitude. That's it. There is nothing more to it. Actively look for things you can be thankful for, no matter how big or small. Make lists of things/people/experiences you are thankful for in your phone. Write them out in a journal. Say them out loud to someone or just to yourself. Ponder them often. When you are feeling disgruntled with a person or situation, conjure up something--anything--to be thankful for about him/her/it. If gratitude is not your default setting, it will not feel natural at first, and your mind will rebel because it's job is to prepare you to deal with problems, not to just sit back and enjoy how good you have it. But when you practice gratitude regularly, your brain will eventually chill out and start to go with it. (But, never fear! It will still be able to help you out with problems when the need arises!) Take a look around at the people you know who truly seem to be happy. I guarantee you they are also the most grateful people you know. 

If you don't already have a regular gratitude practice, here are some of the things that I have implemented (am implementing) that have helped me get in and stay in a thankful mindset:

• I always buy a planner for myself to start the new year that has plenty of room to write on each day. It takes up residence on my bedside table and before I go to bed every night, I write down at least three things from the day or from life in general that I am thankful for. I'm not going to lie, there have been days when all I could come up with was something like, "I'm thankful this day is over!" That still counts! Sometimes I get very specific and sometimes I'm super generalized. Pro tip: It DOES NOT matter what you write. The point is to acknowledge the things you are thankful for--big or small. (And if you can't come up with three, aim for at least one.) I have been doing this for years, and I believe it puts my mind in a peaceful place before bed, and it gives me something tangible to look back during those times when it's more difficult to come up with something. It reminds me there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for! And I think this practice has absolutely made me a happier person. 
• Sometimes when I'm driving to work or on my way to pick up my kids from school, in my car all alone, I speak my gratitude aloud. There is truly something magical about hearing the words out loud. I find this method especially effective when my mind is stubbornly trying to dwell on people or situations I'm annoyed with. It is difficult, if not impossible, to feel both gratitude and frustration at the same time. Thinking and speaking the gratitude simply take up too much brain energy for it to continue to focus on the annoyance. 
• I try (and still need to practice) speaking gratitude to the people I interact with throughout the day--whether that's with a stranger I may never see again, a coworker I'm with every day, or my dearest loved ones who live under my roof. (Note: Those in the last group are sometimes the hardest to show my gratitude to, so I have to be a bit more mindful with them.) If someone holds a door so I can enter, or restocks supplies that make my job easier, or feeds the dog (even if I had to ask them to do it), I try to appreciate the act and acknowledge it to the person. 
• I spend as much time in nature as I can, and I make a point of being grateful for gorgeous sunrises and sunsets, just-right temperatures, beautiful flowers, mesmerizing skies, interesting creatures, breathtaking scenery, quiet places, a rock to rest on, the magic of rainbows, etc. I try to let myself feel awed and to take the time to really see and appreciate the beauty all around me. 

I have by no means perfected the art and grace of living in a state of constant gratitude, but I know for sure when I am in that place, I am happier and more peaceful than when I am not. And I know for sure that a life lived in gratitude is a happy life indeed.